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All the Lonely People

Updated: Jul 13, 2021

You may recall the chorus of The Beatles’ Eleanor Rigby:

“All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?”


Tomorrow is National Cheer Up the Lonely Day. Wow. What a tragedy that we need such a day!


More than 60 percent of Americans report feeling lonely, left out, poorly understood, and lacking companionship. That is just shy of 199 million people (2020 population figures). Oldest adults are more likely to live alone when they might need more support and care. Only 1 in 5 feel they have a person to talk to. Like Lillian.

Lillian, a 93-year-old widow, lives alone in New Jersey, has macular degeneration and is forgetful and confused at times. Her surviving son lives in North Carolina and once told her he wanted her to move to NC but that “he and his wife have their own life.” Lillian did not move. She remains in the home she has occupied pretty much since her wedding, 75 years ago.


Lillian and my mom were friends since middle school. Lillian has known me since my birth; 70 years already. As she regularly reminds me, I am the daughter she did not have.


I call. I visit. I listen. I bear witness. I make her laugh. I check in irregularly. It is something. And it is not enough. Lillian keeps repeating how much it means that I am in touch; that she greatly appreciates hearing from me.


Who would appreciate hearing from you? Someone who is alone, is ill, is dying, is having a tough time.


I know you thought of someone. A relative, friend, neighbor, congregational member, someone in a long-term care facility. Don’t put it off: Pick up the phone and call or visit. Listen. Be fully present.


Yes, there is email and texts and cards and letters and they are good too. But the person cannot hear your voice, cannot have the joy of the back-and-forth sharing. And then stay in touch—even irregularly regularly.


Who would appreciate hearing from you?





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