I am attending a wedding today. As I pick up our weekend paper--reading the comics first--I notice a death-related Loose Parts (which I earlier today posted to my Instagram account). My brain puts wedding and death together and remembers reading months ago of a then-current fashion holding pretend burials at wedding showers.
It's an intriguing party hook as well as an opportunity to face death in a less threatening way. (We do need a cultural shift around death and dying after all.)
More than this, marriage is one time to think about life in general and your life in particular. How would you feel if this person were to die suddenly? If this person became seriously ill, would you know what type of treatments would be wanted or refused? Have you updated health- and financial-related accounts and documents to reflect your new status with this person now in your life? Have you reviewed your health care proxy? Do you know what one is? (If you are 18 or older, better you have one.) Have you even thought to have a conversation around death and dying?
I hear your objections that weddings are a happy time and so let’s not dampen the moment with thoughts of death. When, I ask, is a good time? We always think it is too early, until it is too late. Pretend burials may help us begin a conversation about what matters most to us--throughout life and at its end.
